Living a Remarkable Life: Relationship Building

Today Kevin Langman and I discussed how to build better business relationships. Networking is a major part of all businesses but make sure you are doing it right!

Here are a few of the top tips:

  • Actively listen to the other person
  • Engage with new people, online and offline by stepping in to conversation
  • Stop selling and start building.
  • Be a connector to connect need to solution – if you help someone find a solution, they will remember you.

And one I don’t think I mentioned – let others tell you their story. Make it about the other person, not you.


Thank youeveryone for joining us for living aremarkable life today we’re talkingabout building relationships and I’mhere with my co-host Kevin layman andyou can follow us both in our respectiveblogs – Rebecca Palmer CA and Kevinyours is really awesome so if you’re just joining us for the first time wehave a chat each week on Saturdays at 11a.m. EST and we just chat aboutdifferent things about living aremarkable life and living life the bestthat we can so today we’re going to talka little bit about buildingrelationships and those not only relationships online but also in personand it’s so very important to form good relationships we have to move away fromthe thought of selling to people of promoting our own agendas and thingslike that and actually get to knowpeople so I know Kevin and I were indifferent cities different provincesabout what – time zones apart yet we still being able to connect and comeonline to do these type of chats so it’sabsolutely wonderful we’re going to waitto bring anybody online yet until we get going a little bit more and then we’llgo from there so stand so buildingrelationships Kevin what type ofrelationships are you building onlineonline I’d say the most important thingfor me for online relationships isfinding people doing similar work to meso people who are you know really livinga little bit of an alternative life notworking a traditional career as I left my traditional career six weeks ago soon line I definitely focused on finding people who are also kind ofself-starters self-employed buildingtheir own businesses and building thatkind of network to help support meand also so I can help you know offersupport to other people who are insimilar spots as I am awesome and I know for myself I work to build onlinecommissionrelationships and in my community andwhat I strive to do is to find peoplewho are basically my tribe I find striveto find like-minded people who share similar interests who will help lift meup and help each other forward so as Jim Rohn says it’s the sum of the five people you spend the most time with it’swho you ideally are going to be so wewant to make sure it’s rebuilding our relationships in public or online thatwe’re building them with the people the right people and moving forward with the right people because that really helps us as we go through life as we build businesses as we work on our personal selves so we need to do that properly so let’s get back to relationships building relationships so what do you do when you’re starting out how do you start tobuild relationships what are your five major do’s and dont’s Kevin I’d saydefinitely one of the biggest is to listen actively and not try to project my own desires or wants onto how I want that relationship to form especially when its first starting out I mean when you meet somebody new you don’t know what they’re all about and unless youlisten to them talk and ask you know open-ended questions and really authentic people try to learn as welcomeyou’re going to probably struggle to get that relationship off market start atleast in the eyes of the other person because I think as people we all like to be heard and and I know when people arestarting relationships with me that’sone of the big things I first notice isif you’re really paying attention towhat I’m saying or if they’re just you know you know for their own their own head I guess for sure for sure and something that I found when I started networking I originally went out there and I started trying to my ideas and other people I tried to sell I try to promote and so many of uswhen we start networking we have no idea how to do it properlyso it is very important as Kevin mentioned you need to actively listen too the people the you need to help connect people to other people not aboutyou it’s about how you can help others connect to the right people and when you can connect somebody to who they need to connect to they’re going to remember you and you’re going to have that longer lasting relationship far better than ifyou simply went around a room and handedeverybody a business card or put up apost on Twitter or Facebook trying tosell your project or product or anythinglike that the number one turnoff for meis people who come into a room and donothing but handle their business cardand refuse to actually talk to you abouttheir interests or their passion oranything they’re doing yeah yeah I thinkI think to turn this custom another goodclear enough to really genuinely want tohelp people and be asking you knowactively what do you need what can I doto help you because I mean I thinkhelping others next definitely one ofthe most important ways that you canbuild a relationship and unless you askwhat people need it’s going to be hardto find out exactly where it is I meanyou could try and get and confer but youknow what they say about assuming orasking what people need and then doingyour best there helping yourself orputting them in touch with maybesomebody else from your network who cancan help them out is a great way tostart a relationship box for sure forsure now you and I both do networking inperson and online what are some of thebest tools you find for networking uh Iguess for networking online meetup commis a great place that I use a lot tofind local groups because I can then gotake it into the real world and networksit wasn’t a big city there’s probably ameetup group for whatever interestingyeah and it’s just a matter of certainimportance another I mean Facebook is avery one to keep in exact went in aswell in LinkedIn to network this pastweek Rebecca who you looking to applyfor a job here in Calgary I searched thecompany in my LinkedIn found that I hada connection that worked there I wasable to help you know get your resumeand directly to the hiring manager soyeah I think we did a great tool forsomething like that which is a prettyimpressive considering I’m two provincesaway and left far no nobody in Calgaryso it’s a wonderful that we can nowconnect through our mutual connectionsand reach out to people it’s no longersix degrees of separation it’s aboutthree degrees because chances are youare connected to people you would neverimagine you’re connected to yes it is alive show uh thank you for asking threereq yeah that’s a that’s another andanother example there I went to aconference last Friday and one of thespeakers but a pretty coached calorieindex he was talking about LinkedIn hesaid you know when I paint suppliesexpect them into my LinkedIn app and seewho we have in common and I cyclistspeakers name in and we had a commonconnection so amazing how how connectedwe really are and these tools can reallyshow I put that on display it really isand one of the things that I really likeabout LinkedIn is the fact that you canreach out and connect to some people itcan be a little bit more difficult butif you have a mutual connection thatwill really help connect you further andit lets you see also who is working forcompanies so if you’re doing anythinglike job hunting or trying to findconnections to a big corporation useLinkedIn to its advantage user searchfunctions and things like that becauseyou can find out who works in HR you canfind out who hire speakers all that fromchecking out their LinkedIn profiles solet’s switch gears a little bit and talkabout Twitterhow we can use 200 for buildingrelationships I know I’m a huge hugeTwitter fan I think Kevin you’re juststarting out a little bit more yepthat’s definitely more your area ofexpertise in mind yes so I have usedTwitter probably to find 90% of theopportunities I’ve ended up beinginvolved in in the last five yearsincluding world domination summit whereKevin and I ended up being connected sofor twitter twitter twitter is basicallyaccess to anyone in the world that youwant to talk to because with twitter youcan tweet to anybody at allthere’s no blocking you can connect withno block on who you can message it’s nota guaranteed response by any means butif you start connecting with people okaywe have the appearance by the child andthe daughter cookies bacon in thebastion yeah how many chests we havethat don’t end up with a child in themawesome any I don’t think there’s manythat we go without he’s being a ninjaanyway back to Twitter what is myabsolute favorite I have met so manypeople all over the world opportunitieslike world domination summit likesocialite all events that I ended upbuilding my network because of becauseI’d be able to reach out to differentgroups so there are lots of things youcan do on Twitter to build yourrelationships first off you have toengage with other people that means notjust being a broadcaster not justtweeting out information you need to beengaging so if you see an interestingtweet reply to it if there’s somebodyyou want to talk to and they’re tweetingabout something or you can offer themadvice or help send them a tweet andsend them a referral link to maybe anarticle that gives them the informationthey’re looking for or connect them to aperson that they’re looking to connectto or maybe they’re looking for arestaurant nearby or something like thatso if you can help people connect towhat they need that helps build yourengagement with that person the otherthing on Twitter is tochaps there are so many wonderfulTwitter chats out there on everythingfrom content marketing to relationshipbuilding to Millennials to pavesponsored chats for things like Canadianbeefs and stuff like that where you geton these chats there’s about eight toten questions and with those eight toten questions everybody on the feed sortof gets to respond and answer now somepeople sit back and they just listen andread some people are replying you findout who sort of knows a little bit moreabout the topic but those are absolutelyexcellent ways to meet people missed Iwould agree I disagree with you thatit’s not personal like Facebook becausefor me I have had a lot of personalTwitter chats some in a group settingsome would be moved to private messagesbut definitely it is a great way toconnect with people on a more personallevel because you’re really engagingwith people Facebook you’re posting yourpicturessatis I see but not necessarilyregularly engaging directly withinter-individualso I do love Twitter and Twitter chatsfor that yeah Norse what got me iscasting a course on using some successfor using Twitter more effectivelygeneral sites for resources and just forlearning how to use Twitter better atsome point I did a blog I’ll have tolook for it I don’t have a site offhandbut I would say simply start engagingwith people start returning tweets toother people start sending tweets otherpeople look at a Twitter hashtag andjoin the Twitter hashtag and post on itlook at people who have maybe a fairamount of followers on a subject youlike it doesn’t have to be thousandsbecause you want to have people who havevaluable followers Gary he is absolutelyamazing it is easy in my house seventeenyear olds making bacon and getapparently setting off the fire alarmso yeah it’s easy there’s alwayssomething during your chats on Saturdaysanyways back to Twitter Gary B follow atGary B not only is he amazing and doesawesome daily videos or weekly videosbut he is really big on Twitter and eventhough he has thousands and thousands offollowers he responds to people he willactually tweet back to you and thingslike thatfollow chaps like atomic chat hash tagmedia chat millennial talk and there’sany number if you Google Twitter chatsyou’ll come up with a whole list ofdifferent chats the other thing to do isstart using Twitter lists so if you goto any of the people who are doing a lotof tweeting most of them will havedifferent lists and you can follow allthe people on that list and it’s a greatway to get to know more people as you goalong follow the list you can createyour own list of local people yessometimes people will put people on alist I have some curated lists as wellso if anybody’s talking aboutentrepreneurship or certain things and Ihave them put me on the list basicallywhat a list is is it’s a collection ofpeople who are talking or tweeting abouta subject that you want to talk about sothat is why they might put you on thelist because maybe you’re a reallyinteresting person that they want to seemore tweets from or maybe you live intheir local area or you’re part of abusiness or community that they want tobe involved in and fancy alias I have noidea how to say your name but I Iactually liked 140 character limited alimit in actual Twitter but yes I agreeit was good to lift it in the directmessages because that way directmessages can be a little bit longerraucous Eddie yeah we can put you onhere for a little bit let’s see so Ithink you just have two requests to joinso we’ll have brocco steady come on andcome on in and share and it’s alwaysopen people can join in we do watch tomake sure people are not just spammingus or jumping in for that but everybodyis welcome to join and join theconversationhow are you i Rebecca I Kevin thanks forsharing your wisdom and light thismorningdon’t good to see youyeah I’m it I’ve been listening it’s alot of a lot of great info and uh itsheds any light perspective as far asTwitter is concerned I’ve been very veryvery active on the Facebook realm ofthings uh for the last four yearsbecause for years as I started doingsocial media I was really overwhelmedwith the amount of media that was outthere so I decided to just pick one infocus and then become a master at onceI’m good at twins I’m good at Facebookand I’m good at a Instagram I wanted topose a situation in my personal businesslife and I wanted to see if it was okayfor y’all to to share some us feedbackfor me of courseokay so I’m based out of Houston TexasI’m an inspirational hip-hop artist andfor you know I made a decision that Iwas going to develop relationships andbuild my family if he a week uh 50brand-new people a week now physicallyno mount of rain or shine or was itanymore wasn’t any less now I’ve beenlike that my last four years um and Iwould say 2000 of Philip relationactually know their family Leon if Imade overall but I’m supporting my highbut my question is how do I organize I’mLaVon and opportunity by efficient incommunicating with what I thought whileI’m developing more followers around theworld how do I actually my moreorganization in fact they all know anyorganization tactics okayso what I would suggest is you may wantto look into a Facebook group you can doprivate groups and put your groups ofpeople into either different groups oruse your people who arethe common the people who are mostengaged with you you could add them to aspecial group or invite them to join aspecial group that will help you managethem a little bit and especially managetwo people who are really interested inbeing part of your community becausethat’s what you’re building you’rebuilding a community so for Facebookthat would be my suggestion and that wayyou can really manage who’s in the groupand who you’re doing things with yeah soI would say that would be your best betin terms of Twitter if you want to buildrelationships on Twitter into groups youcan actually start a hashtagspecifically for your followers and gothat way and then you can hold thingslike a weekly chat or monthly chat usingthat hashtag and what you do is thenyou’re inviting everybody to join youand they can participate using that chata hashtag to interact with each other soit’s really interacting with yourcommunity right very cool Thank YouRebecca and you know I don’t know howgeographically spread your sentences andhow much traveling around you do but ifyou want to maybe look at taking intothe real world I usually suggest apotential column to create some meetupsin different cities as you’re travelingaround and you get those send those truehardcore fans just come on I need overand I’m going to do that Rebecca I don’tknow if you have any experience withthis I know some popular people onTwitter will do tweet ups when they gothrough RL which is basically allowingtheir Twitter followers to come and meetup with them at a place you know whenthey’re when they’re in town yes I’veactually hosted to meetups before I findthey’re not happening quite as often asthey used to but it’s always a goodopportunity to set up some type of tweetup is in a local area and you have a lotof followers I have people like AmandaPalmer have loyal followers all over theworld so when she goes to a differentcommunity she often sets up differentevents or at least broadcast and letsthemwhere she is and what she’s doing sothat could be a good way to meet peoplein person and along with your hashtagyou’re really going to be able tostreamline your target audience and havea way for people to find you and ofcourse you can advertise your tweet uson Facebook or anything else you haveInstagram is what you’re using yeahFacebook yes never okay so you can useyour hashtag on Instagram and on Twitteryou can throw it on Facebook too it hasa little bit of clout on Facebook butnot as much as on Instagram or Twitteror anything else yes okay thank you forsharing your wisdom I’m gonna let y’allget back I’m up there from thebackground okay all right you’re welcomeSimon thank you talk to you laterokay so we talked about those um nevertalk to any doctor limb person thinkwe’ve been talking a lot about theonline world and that’s important it ifyou can to take these relationships forthe real world I definitely feel a bitof a sense in this day and age that alot of connecting so reliant ontechnology that some people are losingthat ability to connect in the realworld I mention feet up earlier we justtalked about tweet ups I think you knowjust it’s just a matter of showing upfinding those those areas whether it’sconferences or meetups or even justtalking to people in your you knowwalking down the street showing up andbeing present physically present in mymoment goes a long way to helping tobuild those relationships yeah I’ve hadgreat conversations with people on buseswho just happened to have a very alignedidea the goals as I had once I was on abus in Toronto heading to some afterparty for an entrepreneurship event andI just talked to somebody randomly andit ended up that we had a lot of randomconnections and a lot of interest inentrepreneurship so we had a greatconversation the other thing our Joe isthat if there isn’t something in yourlocaland if you can’t find something in therehold on it’s not goodwhat we know sorry to interruption againmy bad ninja coming to see I have ahorrible headphone thing or at least shedoesn’t quite listen to that look comesay hi quickly learn and then you needto let me finish this because it’s alltwisted so this is my ninja Logan say hiwe went working with kids can bedifficult too because you do have thekids that you have to worry about so youneed to choose your opportunities reallyreally wiselyokay now wait till mommy’s done the chatthen we can finish some more so wellyou’re all watched it is some type ofmartial arts costume it looks like moreof a combat and I liked it for thatreason because Mortal Kombat is awesomeand I wish we had a Mortal Kombat meetupwould that be weirdyes well who probably wouldn’t be withher to just be no ninjas in the officeokay anyways back to in-person meetupsso if there’s not something in your areastarted finishing yeah I’m ready to notsomething in your area then start it ifyou don’t think there’s something inyour area start looking so you want ifyou talk to local business people talkto your library they often have a listcall your Chamber of Commerce look onMeetup look on Facebook for events lookon LinkedIn for events talk to peoplewho are in the community and starttalking to them about what they’re goingto there’s always be an eye on rotaryand things like that you also need totest drive all these community groups sotry and show up where you can at leastonce to the different events and findout whether the people there are thetribes that you want to get to know findout what works for you because you’regoing to find out that not everything isthe right group for you it may not alignwith your passions it may not align withyour goals perhaps it’s all multi-levelmarketing businesses you just want tosell you but don’t really want to get toknow you for me that’s a huge turnoffand you can always start somethingyourself so if you want to do somethinglikehave an open coffee club start that wehave a group that we do that is you knowyour set is not true be nice what am Imissingokay I should go I love in a minute foryour name I know my network marketersare not what I’m interested in I do notpersonally want people to be handing meflyers and don’t want to know anythingabout it so I know lots of great networkmarketers but they don’t push theproduct on me yeah and I think that’s animportant point you know networkmarketers can get painted with a badbrush because there are a lot honestlyout there who all I do is show up andtry to sell their product that beingsaid there are definitely some when I’mgood friends with some my family evenKevin that’s totally okay and yeah butthey respect their grill that’s just thenice people in my house a sale salesmethod in Rebecca and I think Robmentioned it as well as problems withsome networking events as people arethere just to sell themselves eldorado Ithink like you were talking about testdriving finding groups where it is moreabout developing genuine connection ortrading your own groups that’s somethingI’ve done and just making sure you havevery clear ground rules to say we’rehere to connect with each other yourspecial other time little selling thissort of thing goes a long way to helpingit become more more authentically humanhoping for sure for sure and just soeverybody knows I’m not againstnetworkers I just choose not to benetworking in groups that are solelyNetwork marketers who don’t want tobuild relationships because I’m lookingfor real authentic relationships I’m notlooking for simply transactionalrelationship which i think is one of themain points yeah yeah I don’t want youto see me as a number or just anotherdollar sign for someone you can sell aproduct to I want you to see me assomeone that you can connect withsomeone who will help you grow yourbusiness and help you meet peopleso things like when people add you onLinkedIn and immediately try and sellyou something or they come up to you andimmediately give you the flyer forsomething that’s what I don’t like andthat’s what I avoid when I’m out so thatis why I mentioned network marketers wedo have a few groups locally that havevery high levels of network marketerswho I don’t want to connect they justwant to sell you so that’s where I’mcoming from there and holy we can workto help people learn how to actuallybuild relationships instead of justselfie people yeahnow shifting gears a little bit mm-hmmI think you know talking aboutconnecting with people in personmaybe being an introvert myself I thinka lot of people on this call probablyagreeing towards the introverted side Imean introverts make up a third just 60%of the population and I know that thein-personconnecting can be something that ispretty scary to people who lean towardsthe introverted side so I thought me toshare a few tips that I found successfulfor myself being someone who used to bevery heavily introverted to get betterat connecting and networking peopleperson because it has taken you sometime but I feel like that would haveimproved the old a few of my favoritesfor for connecting with people one of mymy favorites is the three-second rulesand that basically is if you seesomebody you want to talk to you you’vegot three seconds to go up and insert aconversation with them because if youdon’t you’re going to get stuck in yourhead and yeah I know myself I’d end upon a surprise egg’ going and talking tothis person because I just think youknow I waited too long to do it sothat’s great another one is a bit of amindset the mindset shift and that is tolook at strangers as friends you haven’tmet yetyou know people are generally nice andfriendly and helpful and I think ourbrain can try to take over and I’mworried thatthey were to be mean or whatnot but mostpeople I don’t mean so yeah I exactlynever see a stranger in support yes andI find for myself that makes it muchmore comfortable to go up and starttalking and start building arelationship with people for sure and Ido love your point about thethree-second rule it is absolutely righton the other thing I want people to dois remember to not be afraid to step upand step forward and join intoconversations and gribble because I knowit’s introverts and as people who arenew to networking then it can be veryvery hard to really join in and start toget to know people so face your fearsyou’ll step up and start talking topeople as well and realize that half ofthem are just as scared as you are tojoin in and you just need to get to knowpeople in one way that I went fromknowing absolutely no one having beingat home for many years and just workingin an assistant position two years tonow having contacts throughout mycommunity and across the world just byjoining in stepping up facing my fearand joining in yep and then I guessanother point to make if you areintroverted is you know you’re going outand it’s going to be energy it takes alot to are connecting with people extendjust being out in glory or someone whoyou know and I think it’s important toaccept that right now you know there’s alot about deadlines are important totake that time for yourself so you knowput yourself out there go connect withpeople but when you start to feel thatyour new your energy levels are droppingand you’re you know maybe not you need abreakthat’s okay go off by yourself for awhile reflect on a simple UI that’strying to be energized – whatever it is- and and and come back to it yeah don’tworry about thatlook on anis he was like to join usthought of a demo conversation which isup on the join feet in the screen thereand then Rebecca connection which is thehostyeah yes I’m just watching to see who isrequesting and as long as you aretalking in the feed for the most part weare accepting you in we have had someissues with some weird call in so ifyou’d like to talk anis come on come onin and request to come into the chat sowe just want to make sure that you’retaking part in the chat before we addyou yes that is the one issue I guesswith some social media that you do getsome people who are not necessarily thepeople you want on different chats whoare trying to promote some very weirdthings I don’t know how to explain it tous any idea it’s kinda similar to whenyou go to networking events and peoplefrom them and yeah they’re not there forthe topper to handle just to promotethemselves okay that’s not what we wantyeah well it’s not even promotingthemselves it’s just being some spamaccounts basically that have requestedjust to sort of show up on to the listof speakers and while we want everybodyto come in we don’t want those Famiconsore people who are promoting hate wellnot exactly so with that yes welcome toour bill yes welcome to our guests wehave Abdo and we have steam Oh who’strying to join us as well so Oh stopthose gonesounds about right I’m an audio go aheadCMO I’ll gooh hi how are you oh do you have anyquestions for us I can’t really hear youyour audio is not very good maybe it’snot going to work with the for Internetsignal I don’t think it is ok ok so youcovered some in person building we’vecovered how to find your new networkswithout maintaining maintainingrelationships good topic follow upfollow up follow on them you have tofollowup with the connections that youmake and I admit it’s one of the thingsthat I suck at I try and make sure thatI connect with everybody I’ve connectedwith and follow up with them but you getdizzy you leave an event and you eithercan’t remember the name or you lose thecontact information or you just forgetso it’s really important to do whateveryou can at the event to do things toremember the person whether it’sassociating some keyword to try andremember them better or writing downwhat it was that you wanted to talk tothem about that I think is one of themain keys if you meet someone and you’renot going to remember who they arespecifically necessarily but take youthe name write it down write down whatit was you wanted to talk to them aboutor what it was that you had a connectionabout and then follow up from there soyou can follow up through emails you canfollow up through Facebook throughLinkedIn through Twitter but do connectas soon as possible yeah and and youknow when you’re connecting withsomebody really try I think to notobviously not make it just about you butto ask ask them or offer help or offyour ideas you know if it’s especiallyif it’s someone that you don’t you knowyou maybe don’t know too well if you areable to catch something that they’rereally interested about you know if youfind something that that person mightfind beneficial to share that with themand offer to help is a great way tosearch their billnot relationships but I don’t hang onyou’re going on about the importance offollowing out the night things assomeone who sometimes struggles withremembering names that strategy oftrading gallopers taking a note evenjust pulling out your phone right afteryou meet them making a quick note abouttheir name what you talked about whatyou want to follow up a boat with isgood yeah I know one person who actuallytakes a picture with the person thatthey want to follow up with and reportwriting their phone at that time thatway you have both the name and facerecognition so we have valid and MSjoining us right now do you have anyquestions or comments I really missedthe door in my office I really really doum yeah I need a new drawer yeah okaypeople I think we’re having connectionproblems again you’re welcome to talkwallet are you there okay I’m going todisconnect come back on up there you areare you therealso okay so I’m going to remove you andcome back on and try again that mightwork better and asks are you there itwill avoid itno okay so the seats are open up ifanybody else wants to join usgo ahead they were were we’re all notoff for blabs going on right now on theblood no odds of that matter coolawesome yeah it does seem wahlid thatthere are some issues with connectionsKevin and I often end up with a badsignal or audio issue ourselves badcamera bad mic who knows yes it’s all wecan do do you have a question you wantto put in the topic or comment becausewe can mention that for you if you’dlike Thank You Chuck if you can I don’tknowvideo there’s the text shot for sure yesand connect Thank You relationshipbuilding is so so important so we needto help each other learn how to do itbetter how do you know that’s a questiongood question for you I think Rebecca ohhow do you deal with the averagelifespan of a tweet 24 minutes well youknow what you’re either going to gettraction off you tweet or you’re not ifyour audience is full of people youengage with then you’re going to get alittle bit more but you can’t worryabout the lifespan of a tweet you reallycan’tif you’re not getting any engagementfrom your tweet then tweet somethingelse tweet with people the mostengagement I get usually comes from myTwitter chats or if I directly mentionsomeone in my chat or in my tweet so ifI say hey Ross Kincaid who I was hopingwould join us today let’s talk aboutyoung entrepreneurs then I engage himand we start having conversation on thatthe other thing that really gets peopleengaged is things like bacon if youstart talking about bacon on Twitterit’s a huge possibility that half thepeople in your feet are suddenly goingto start tweeting about bacon back atyou I think the other day we came upwith an idea related to bacon it endedup being about a mini moose farm tochant train Canadian Musketeers fromtweets sometimes tweeting is just havingfun too because when you engage insilliness up such as you would do itspoof chat then you actually connectwith people on that other level and thepeople I connect with there are also invery high level of media chats andthings like thatso I hope that answers that question alittle bit how often daily to make apoint to engage with someone new I tryand engage somebody new at least acouple times dailynot every Twitter account is going to bean active engaged user because there arean awful lot of broadcasters out thereand not everybody is online all the timeto engage with you so yeah I go with itjust spending a little more time on thatquestion it’s important to alsoI think how much time you’re spendingtrying to connect to network with peoplebecause will give not because andsmartphone everywhere really you couldbe trying to connect all the time butyou have to value you have technologyfree times I personally get settle inthe time is about 60 minutes a day ofspending directly like onlinecommunities into what not to limitmyself just otherwise spinner can becomeall-encompassing no it’s important youknow during your work is all yeah andChuck mentioned here about tweetingconsistently and calling your followersregularly and yes that can help you wantto call the inactive followers one ofthe great tools for that is crowdfireapp G can go on crowdfire app that willbring up a list of your followers andwhat you can do is you can set it forafter the last three months last sixmonths last year and then you can callinactive followers or inactive accountsso you’re not getting rid of the peoplewho are actively still on Twitter you’regetting rid of the people whose accountsare no longer being used people whowould be dropped off the Twitter or havechanged their accounts and things likethat so that is a great way to manage itcrowds on your app it up from thatcommunity who’s not following you andthings like that and I do highly urgedon’t get upset if somebody doesn’tfollow you back because they’re notnecessarily the great person to followyou and as you provide value to themthey will start to follow you if you’reproviding value yeah I wanted to go backto something to show you where you cancomment and having funthink the importance of having fun isdefinitely something to keep formforemost in your mind always especiallywhen it comes to many people in personyou know whenever you can add an elementof fun to your activities where you’redoing things with people you know we’rehuman we’d like to have fun and interactlike that and I say guys form some ofthe most genuine my life well it’s beensomething finer adventures that weregoing on and you know when you’retalking about you knowtake it too seriously so don’t take itagain to flap overtly can wait it’s agrateful wallet let’s get to yourcomment really quickly you’re askingabout a guy dating an older woman like10 years difference that’s absolutelyfine to each his own if that’s what youwant to do then go for it we’re notreally talking about relationshipbuilding as an online dating butdefinitely do what is right for you andthe most important thing is for you tobe engaging with each other and talkingto each other yeah and yeah if it’sright it will work it’s no differentthan girl dating someone older than herit’s just opposite sex so it reallydoesn’t matter back to Chuck yes fun isabsolutely important in online andin-person meetings the more you can getpeople to have fun or even act as akinonce in a while the more engaged you aregoing to be the more relationshipsyou’re going to build and having fun isjust it’s a great way to sparkconversation yeah whatever you’re doingum see in Chuck you also mentioned abouthaving more followers than you followideally yeah it’s great to have morefollowers and you’re following but youdon’t need to have too high of a numberand another part of relationshipbuilding is very important to talk aboutand that is how to reach out to newnetworks and how to build new networksand when you’re building a new networkyou may end up with a lot more peopleyou that you’re following then that arefollowing you because one of the thingsI just did I’m trying to reach out tothe new network of Calgary so in thatcase I’m going to follow a ton of newpeople who are involved in the area thatI’m looking for so either in the topicI’m looking at or in the community I’mtrying to reach and I’m going to followthose people and see who I can engagewith to build my relationships with thatcommunity so in that case in yourfollower followingis going to be off balance uh the mainthing is to make sure that you areengaged in with people whether you’refollowing them or they’re following youum okay yeah so how can another thing Iwanted to make sure we touched on kindof going towards the point where you’destablish the relationships and you havekind of a two-way relationship goingit’s also important to remember that inalthough helping people and andlistening to people is important theserelationships can benefit and it’simportant to know that it’s okay to askfor things it’s okay to ask for helpit’s okay to put your questions out toyour network to try and help you know Isaid I know I’m guilty humans of beingafraid to ask for help or ask forsupport but it’s amazing what willhappen when you start asking as well aslong as I say one who gives and takes Ithink you know you can assettremendously right yes you have to showthat you’re vulnerable you have to askfor helpyou have to be willing to give help andgive advice and give forward and it’sreally all about being part of beingauthentic so you want to be a realperson you can’t be one person on yourbusiness side and another person on yourpersonal side those two sides have tolend because you are your personal brandso who you are in person and in businessreally is the same person and if you’repretending it’s two different people itreally is not going to come across wellto people so if you want to be relatablemake sure that you are definitely beingyour authentic self all the time yes andthis is definitely more professionalrelationships and networking sorry forany confusing there however the samerules really apply to buildingrelationships between girls and boys orgirls and girls or boys and boyswhatever you would like it’s all aboutgetting to know each other authenticallyand getting to know the real you anddoing the best you can moving forwardnow I do have some bad news I do have toleave in about five minutes because I’moff to build some relationships in anor City so I have to hop in the car andgo for Drive that’s all I have to do soyes one the nice thing is that thisevent that I’m going to us based on anevent I went to on Tuesday where I madenew connections with someone and itturned out that person I connected withalign completely with what I’m trying todo in my personal and business lifewhich is how other entrepreneurs so I’mnow off to an event that he’s hostingall in alignment with what I’m trying todo and it also turns out we have mutualfriends and you will find that as you’rebuilding relationships that you keepcoming back in a circle where you’refinding mutual friends and it willexpand outwards so you may meet somebodylocally who’s connected to someone elsewhere and as you start moving in thecommunities you’re going to find theJuve connections all over the place andyou will run into people in thestrangest places and it just all keepscoming back so I’d say we have whatabout five minutes for some finalquestions and then we’ll be stopping thechat and then you can join us all nextweek for another topic and then we’ll gofrom there does anybody have somelast-minute questionsI’m just looking back to my affair Iwanted to touch on today and I think wewe go out you know oh where do I seat orthey’re going I think Twitter is goingto be around for quite a while in thenext 24 months it may change a littlebit more especially with some of thelimits there are people who are movingover to things like snapchat and lab andperiscope and stuff like that howeverTwitter still seems to be hanging onpretty well and it is that source forinstant information you can find outwhat’s going on instantly on Twitter asit happens which is one of the favoritethings I love about it if I want towatch a bluejay game and I can’t I canfollow the whole game on Twitter whichis absolutely wonderful except for whenthey lost like last nightgo Blue Jays but it’s absolutely awesometwitter is like the world’s cocktailparty I love that and Gary Vee isabsolutely awesome he’s walkinglike nothing else um yeah twitter islike a big cocktail parties it beingsocial and I think the other thing likeyou said earlier about Twitter is youcan’t connect with anybody literally youcan at least try to yeah the verypopular people might not reply but youhave that option so I think it’s uniquein that sense and I think its popularityI don’t think is going anywhere anytimesoon no neither do I I hope they don’tchange the standard tweets too much Iknow they’re playing with the lengths ofdirect messages and stuff the directmessages I like the expanded link Iwould not want to see it in regularTwitter they’ve introduced Twittervideos so you can actually record avideo tweet now there’s Twitter cards soyou can tweet and if you tweet a certainlink then it puts up like a littlepicture underneath with something fromyour website or whatever so there’s lotsof interesting tools you can use withTwitter too and maybe that’s what weneed to do in the future is a Twitterspecific chat maybe in the next fewweeks we’ll do thatyes and I think as far as I go justfinal thoughts connecting and buildingrelationships three key things from hereto listen a lot to help people and to beyourself don’t try to be someone you areoursbe yourself people can see right throughacts and whatnot so be yourself and Ithink that’s why you find the mostsuccessful connecting with peopleabsolutely and I’ll give my three finalthoughts as well again actively listenthat means looking people in the eyespaying attention to them not lookingover your shoulder to see if there’ssomebody better to talk to to engagingwith people so taking action eithertweeting to them walking up to a groupand joining in forming a group if youneed to whatever you need to do toengage and take action and then thethird thing is to face your fears anddon’t be afraid to step outside yourcomfort zone and meet new people or trynew things so those are my three tipsthank you everyone for joining us todayand thank you Kevin for co-hosting withme againyou can find us here every Saturdaymorning at 11 a.m.maybe one day soon it will be kid freetoobut we’ll work on that so thank you verymuch and if you want to find us again myblog is Rebecca Palmer CA and you can find me on Twitter at Rebecca Palmer and Kevin um adventurous introvert dork homeand you can find him at at KevinBLangman on Twitter as well okaygood day everyone and we’re off see younext week